You so funny, @LOLGOP!

“I blame President Obama for Newt Gingrich’s massive campaign debt.”– @LOLGOP

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It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

So, I’ve been pretty quiet for a year;  No, I didn’t fall off the porch and break my hip.  Sometimes I have to take a nap.  In any case, I’m awake again, and by God, Andrew Breitbart dropped dead of a heart attack.  While I’ve shed no tears, and I am rather glad he’s out of our hair now, I don’t feel any need to be caustic about it.  But that doesn’t mean I won’t roll my eyes at the wing nuts who are crying “Murder!  Murder most foul!” 

Me, I’m anticipating when Fred Phelps leaves this vale of tears a bit sunnier with his death.  I think I’ll make a pilgrimage to his grave to spit on it. 

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Sing it, Brother Shep! Amen!

I’m usually too busy sitting on the front porch, bradishing my cane at all the damn kids to watch Fox news. But this little gem comes via the good chefs over at the Pundit Kitchen. A friendly wave of the cane in thanks for the tasty bit pulled from the copious flow of Fox News dreck.

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I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.

Friendly wave of the curmudgeonly cane to those nice kids over at BoingBoing for this tidbit:

John “No bare titties on statues!” Ashcroft (Wikipedia article on him here) is going to work at “Xe”, the renamed “Blackwater” mercenary/profiteer company.

But wait. There’s MORE: He’ll be heading the “ethics and professionalism” branch.

Be sure to read the Wikipedia article, paying close attention to the controversies section for the irony of this.

Oh, and while you’re there, be sure to check out Blackwater/Xe’s history, too. Like calls to like, birds of a feather, all that jazz.

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Enough Schadenfreude Pie.

Going around on Twitter, and adopting it as my position from this point forward:

“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Tweet of the day

From twitter user @downgoesbrown comes this brilliant gem:

Donald Trump: “WHERE’S THE DEATH CERTIFICATE?” Everyone else: “Oh shut the fuck up.”

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On Schadenfreude Pie.

It seems that schadenfreude is also translated as “misery loves company”; I suppose that’s true, but I’ve always thought of it more as the sarcastic “Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!”. It’s the guilty, bitter-sweet pleasure of delight in the misfortunes of others.

But the thought occurs to The Curmudgeonly Progressive that schadenfreude pie is addictive, and highly destructive. It causes congestive heart failure, radical personality changes. Your heart turns into a stone, and leads to maniacal cackling, making the user unsociable, and leads to social disengagement.

Schadenfreude pie is best enjoyed in tiny bites, and must be followed by copious amounts of the milk of human kindness. Do not indulge too frequently, and offset it by humanitarian exercises.

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